Congratulations on your wedding anniversary Mr & Mrs Okabekwa

'Happy anniversary to US!!!! 7 years ago I met you. You were my first love. Today, 3 years ago, you took me to the altar to be your wife. You are the best gift that God has ever given to me. You are a wonderful father to our beautiful daughters. God has been so merciful to us. I love you sweetie, now and forever'

https://www.facebook.com/okabekwa.fabian
https://www.facebook.com/chidalu.onuselogu

When was your last passionate kiss?

Can you do this now or later today and tell us how it felt to really kiss your spouse again

Are you bold enough? 

Post a selfie of you two kissing!

Best Selfie gets a PRIZE

LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX

ADAMAS SUPPORT THIS 100%

https://www.facebook.com/rccg.r.parish

Congratulations Seyi and Ifeoluwa on your wedding anniversary

It's our 10th year wedding anniversary and it's been God's grace all the way

10 Gone, FOREVER to go 

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER.

https://www.facebook.com/obaseyi

https://www.facebook.com/ifeawoyinfa

Congratulations Seun and Rita Osikalu on your wedding anniversary

A decade

Blessed be your name oh Lord

 Together Forever

 

https://www.facebook.com/seunosikalu
https://www.facebook.com/oosikalu

Do You feel this way about your spouse?

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
― Bob Marley

KISS!

LOVE QUOTES

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
― Dr. Seuss

LOVE QUOTES

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.”
― William W. Purkey

LOVE QUOTES

Congratulations Olugbenga and Christiana Olusoga on your wedding anniversary

https://www.facebook.com/Olusoga.Olugbengahttps://www.facebook.com/christiana.akandeolusoga

Congratulations Olalekan and Funmilola Yussuf on your wedding anniversary

https://www.facebook.com/funmilola.yussuf
 https://www.facebook.com/lekan.yussuf.75

Irritating habits

Many people are married to someone who has one or more habits they find undesirable. Some couples if asked if anything about their spouse irritates them will be so quick to respond that they “loved everything about their spouse” only to find out that shortly after they no longer loved anything! So, don’t be afraid to point out habits that irritate you, just be sure you do it in a non-defensive way.

Sex

Frequency, quantity, quality, and infidelity are all common sources of stress and disharmony in a marriage. Withholding sex to punish a spouse, breaks the marital bond. Cheating on a spouse destroys trust.

Sex can be a HUGE issue when it comes to undoing the vows you took.

Personality conflicts

TALK ABOUT IT

Is your personality ruining your marriage? There are personality traits that can doom a marriage to failure. Are you a conflict 'avoider'? Do you like to “one-up your spouse? Do you bend over backwards to please your spouse, neglecting your needs in the process? If you answered yes to any of these, your need to work on changes these negative personality traits.
Each of the above is a very common problem dealt with in a marriage. Although they are problems, they can also be opportunities for growth, learning and accord. Whether these issues remain problems causing stress in your marriage or become an opportunity for growth is up to you.

Symptoms of Codependency

By Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT

Codependency is characterized by a person belonging to a dysfunctional, one-sided relationship where one person relies on the other for meeting nearly all of their emotional and self-esteem needs. It also describes a relationship that enables another person to maintain their irresponsible, addictive, or underachieving behavior.
Do you expend all of your energy in meeting your partner’s needs? Do you feel trapped in your relationship? Are you the one that is constantly making sacrifices in your relationship? Then you may be in a codependent relationship.

The term codependency has been around for decades. Although it originally applied to spouses of alcoholics (first called co-alcoholics), researchers revealed that the characteristics of codependents were much more prevalent in the general population than had previously imagined. In fact, they found that if you were raised in a dysfunctional family or had an ill parent, you could also be codependent.
Researchers also found that codependent symptoms got worse if left untreated. The good news is that they’re reversible.

Symptoms of Codependency

The following is a list of symptoms of codependency and being in a codependent relationship. You don’t need to have them all to qualify as codependent.

• Low self-esteem.Feeling that you’re not good enough or comparing yourself to others are signs of low self-esteem. The tricky thing about self-esteem is that some people think highly of themselves, but it’s only a disguise — they actually feel unlovable or inadequate. Underneath, usually hidden from consciousness, are feelings of shame.Guilt and perfectionism often go along with low self-esteem. If everything is perfect, you don’t feel bad about yourself.
• People-pleasing.It’s fine to want to please someone you care about, but codependents usually don’t think they have a choice. Saying “No” causes them anxiety. Some codependents have a hard time saying “No” to anyone. They go out of their way and sacrifice their own needs to accommodate other people.
• Poor boundaries.Boundaries are sort of an imaginary line between you and others. It divides up what’s yours and somebody else, and that applies not only to your body, money, and belongings, but also to your feelings, thoughts and needs. That’s especially where codependents get into trouble. They have blurry or weak boundaries. They feel responsible for other people’s feelings and problems or blame their own on someone else's.Some codependents have rigid boundaries. They are closed off and withdrawn, making it hard for other people to get close to them. Sometimes, people flip back and forth between having weak boundaries and having rigid ones.
• Reactivity.
  A consequence of poor boundaries is that you react to everyone’s thoughts and feelings. If someone says something you disagree with, you either believe it or become defensive. You absorb their words, because there’s no boundary. With a boundary, you’d realize it was just their opinion and not a reflection of you and not feel threatened by disagreements.
• Caretaking.Another effect of poor boundaries is that if someone else has a problem, you want to help them to the point that you give up yourself. It’s natural to feel empathy and sympathy for someone, but codependents start putting other people ahead of themselves. In fact, they need to help and might feel rejected if another person doesn’t want help. Moreover, they keep trying to help and fix the other person, even when that person clearly isn’t taking their advice.
• Control.Control helps codependents feel safe and secure. Everyone needs some control over events in their life. You wouldn’t want to live in constant uncertainty and chaos, but for codependents, control limits their ability to take risks and share their feelings. Sometimes they have an addiction that either helps them loosen up, like alcoholism, or helps them hold their feelings down, like workaholism, so that they don’t feel out of control.Codependents also need to control those close to them, because they need other people to behave in a certain way to feel okay. In fact, people-pleasing and care-taking can be used to control and manipulate people. Alternatively, codependents are bossy and tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. This is a violation of someone else’s boundary.
• Dysfunctional communication.Codependents have trouble when it comes to communicating their thoughts, feelings and needs. Of course, if you don’t know what you think, feel or need, this becomes a problem. Other times, you know, but you won’t own up to your truth. You’re afraid to be truthful, because you don’t want to upset someone else. Instead of saying, “I don’t like that,” you might pretend that it’s okay or tell someone what to do. Communication becomes dishonest and confusing when you try to manipulate the other person out of fear.
• Obsessions.Codependents have a tendency to spend their time thinking about other people or relationships. This is caused by their dependency and anxieties and fears. They can also become obsessed when they think they’ve made or might make a “mistake.”Sometimes you can lapse into fantasy about how you’d like things to be or about someone you love as a way to avoid the pain of the present. This is one way to stay in denial, discussed below, but it keeps you from living your life.
• Dependency.Codependents need other people to like them to feel okay about themselves. They’re afraid of being rejected or abandoned, even if they can function on their own. Others need always to be in a relationship, because they feel depressed or lonely when they’re by themselves for too long. This trait makes it hard for them to end a relationship, even when the relationship is painful or abusive. They end up feeling trapped.
• Denial. One of the problems people face in getting help for codependency is that they’re in denial about it, meaning that they don’t face their problem. Usually they think the problem is someone else or the situation. They either keep complaining or trying to fix the other person, or go from one relationship or job to another and never own up the fact that they have a problem.Codependents also deny their feelings and needs. Often, they don’t know what they’re feeling and are instead focused on what others are feeling. The same thing goes for their needs. They pay attention to other people’s needs and not their own. They might be in denial of their need for space and autonomy. Although some codependents seem needy, others act like they’re self-sufficient when it comes to needing help. They won’t reach out and have trouble receiving. They are in denial of their vulnerability and need for love and intimacy.
• Problems with intimacy.By this I’m not referring to sex, although sexual dysfunction often is a reflection of an intimacy problem. I’m talking about being open and close with someone in an intimate relationship. Because of the shame and weak boundaries, you might fear that you’ll be judged, rejected, or left. On the other hand, you may fear being smothered in a relationship and losing your autonomy. You might deny your need for closeness and feel that your partner wants too much of your time; your partner complains that you’re unavailable, but he or she is denying his or her need for separateness.
• Painful emotions.Codependency creates stress and leads to painful emotions. Shame and low self-esteem create anxiety and fear about being judged, rejected or abandoned; making mistakes; being a failure; feeling trapped by being close or being alone. The other symptoms lead to feelings of anger and resentment, depression, hopelessness, and despair. When the feelings are too much, you can feel numb.

There is help for recovery and change for people who are codependent. The first step is getting guidance and support. These symptoms are deeply ingrained habits and difficult to identify and change on your own.

"My wife belongs to my kitchen, the other room"

kitchen and the other room...

This is not a political discussion, we want to use this as a case study for wives who work or run a business. 

I want to believe that the statement of our president was made to make light the situation, just to create humor out of the situation; definitely people {opposition} won't see it this way.

Let us move away totally from politics and attend to the real issue here. Is the place of a woman in the kitchen and the other room?

Why is the same room not for the man?

  

Please drop your comment.

VALIANT WOMEN AWARDS 2016

COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE {CIM 1}

Better create time now!

Building new communication skills and breaking through old communication patterns is not easy, but then again nothing worth anything in life is easy. You and your spouse may have come to a place where you have forged an uneasy peace and in order to move forward in your relationship, things are actually going to have to get uglier before they get better. You are going to have to face issues that are uncomfortable and even explosive, but if you are committed to walk through it together then you can come out on the other side with greater intimacy and a stronger relationship.         Andrew Cromwell

How often do you create time to talk about issues that are bothering you? Is work and other responsibilities making it impossible to have time with your spouse? You must as a matter of urgency create time for your marriage. 

You will be surprise how many things she/he wanted to discuss with you, but you are never available. 

When was the last time you both talked about the way forward in your marriage? or how you can improve on making your sex live more appealing? Do you discuss the future of your children or you just hope everything will turn out fine? Are your in-laws intruding and you think it will be misunderstood if you discuss it? etc

Please talk about it NOW!

Happy Wedding Anniversary Mr and Mrs Abati

More Blissful Years ahead

https://www.facebook.com/abati.sam 

Is sexual satisfaction achievable in marriage?

If Yes, How? and if No, Why?


(I doubt if anyone would pick the second option!)

 

We have many reasons why people cheat on their spouse, not that any of it can justify the action but not talking about it will not make it stop or go away. Their is need to talk about it, find out why it happened and what to do not to make it happen again.

SEX!

Yes, sex is the number 1 reason why many cheat; and for many you have not started cheating until sex becomes part of the equation.

How true?

Why have sex outside marriage?

LOVE QUOTES

Love is a symbol of eternity.  

It wipes out all sense of time, 

destroying all memory of a beginning

 and all fear of an end.  

~Author Unknown

Love is a game that two can play and both win. ~Eva Gabor

In courtship or in marriage, I desire should always be to make the other person happy. Life is about giving to make others know that you care; what goes round will surely get to you. Yes, sometimes their is bound to be some misunderstandings which is just OK, how you handle it however is the important thing to focus on.

Make you marriage like a game where you don't want the opponent to loose so you can play again and again...

LOVE

Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence. ~David Byrne

Happy Anniversary Ven & Mrs Christopher Etietsola

I couldn't have said it better on our parents 40th Anniversary.
"Over the years and through the times, you have stood out not because you are perfect individuals but because you are strong together as one. Your bond, so unique is a model for many; for us your children, we could not have asked for any better couple and parents to model our lives after.
Your gracefulness as you age speaks volume, your candour in the face of storms and trials pervades human reasoning; it is no doubt that you were made for each other.
We are proud to call you Parents and Grandparents.

On this remarkable 40th, we celebrate you as always.
May your shine never dim
May your grace extend longer
May your fruits never cease
May your hearts never fail
May your years be long
May your lives remain blessed
May your dreams, wishes and prayers for us all, come true"
Happy 40th Wedding Anniversary Ven. & Mrs. Christopher Etietsola


Written by Seyifunmi Crown Etietsola


https://www.facebook.com/temi.etietsola1?hc_ref=NEWSFEED 

Celebrating with Mr & Mrs Muyiwa Ogunleye

HAPPY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

'We give Almighty God all the praises and adoration for He is our Pillar and ever present help for the past nine years and counting. Friends kindly join us to praise Baba God'

https://www.facebook.com/muyiwa.ogunleye?hc_ref=NEWSFEED&fref=nf 

Congratulations Ernest Bisong and Morenike on your marriage

We wish you the best together as a couple