Your wedding anniversary should remind you of that day you both said 'I do'. It's a special day to be celebrated like it's happening all over again; come to think of it, it's actually your wedding day in a new year. It is unfortunate we live in a society where the understanding of marriage is lost amid various personal interpretations. There is a need to discuss and celebrate marriage always. ADAMAS- Diamonds Are Forever.
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Monday, 25 July 2016
"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God"
He is a king, in fact, one of the few respected African kings. But damn some barbaric tradition, the Ooni allowed his wife to seat while he stood sheltering her. Now, this is a kingdom that will bring change. Every real man knows that the easiest and best way to excel and reign peacefully is to elevate his wife, make her the queen, and honour her above all except Jehovah. A senator friend who was a well known professor of Microbiology and a successful businessman ever before going into politics once told me a story. He is the one who takes care of garbage in their New York home. One day, he forgot to do it and when his wife called his attention to it, he said, "My dear, I am a senator of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. His wife responded, "Yes, you are a senator, but in this house, you are a husband". My friend said that no wise man carries social status into his home. Stop reading only Ephesians 5:22; read verse 21 before the 22. It says, "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God". A good leader serves and nurtures.
You are a ruler out there, but in your home, drop that pride and love your wife the right way.
Long live the king
Long live his queen
by: Amara Van-Lare
Tuesday, 19 July 2016
Monday, 18 July 2016
10 Things To Stop Doing If You Think You May Cheat
10. Stop Blaming
Stop blaming your spouse for lack of sex in your marriage or for your marriage being in a rut. You need to accept your responsibility for problems in your marriage. If you cheat on your spouse, you have no one to blame but yourself. You, and you alone, made the decision to be unfaithful.Friday, 15 July 2016
TOPIC: Interfering In-Laws
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10 Things To Stop Doing If You Think You May Cheat
9. Stop Sharing Feelings
Stop sharing more of your feelings, problems, and dreams with your "friend" than you do with your spouse. Sure, sharing how you feel is generally a good idea, but when you keep your spouse in the dark about what is going on with you, you aren't being fair or faithful. Emotional intimacy often leads to a sexual affair.Thursday, 14 July 2016
Work out your marriage.
“People think because we are rich and famous that we don't go through
things. We are real like everyone else. We are human. My wife had got
sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and problems with children.
She had lost 30 pounds and weighed about 90 pounds in her 35 years. She
got very skinny, and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman.
She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves
in her back and ribs.
She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the morning and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself.
She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon… But then I decided to act on it. After all, I’ve got the most beautiful woman on the earth.
She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her shoulders. I began to pamper her with flowers, kisses and compliments.
I surprised her and pleased her every minute. I gave her lots of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends. You won’t believe it, but she blossomed.
She became even better than before. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and she loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CAN love that much. And then I realized one thing: The woman is the reflection of her man. If you love her to the point of madness, she will become it." -- Brad Pitt
She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the morning and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself.
She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon… But then I decided to act on it. After all, I’ve got the most beautiful woman on the earth.
She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her shoulders. I began to pamper her with flowers, kisses and compliments.
I surprised her and pleased her every minute. I gave her lots of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends. You won’t believe it, but she blossomed.
She became even better than before. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and she loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CAN love that much. And then I realized one thing: The woman is the reflection of her man. If you love her to the point of madness, she will become it." -- Brad Pitt
Wednesday, 13 July 2016
SEX
Are you becoming too busy to have SEX with your spouse?
This is a danger sign that must be addressed and arrested.
If you are in this situation, please state your excuse.
10 Things To Stop Doing If You Think You May Cheat
8. Stop Escaping
Stop wanting to be away from home. Face into what you are escaping and why. Deal with the issues. Don't run away from them into the arms of someone else.Tuesday, 12 July 2016
10 Things To Stop Doing If You Think You May Cheat
6. Stop Telling Lies
Stop telling lies to your spouse. The sense of betrayal and being lied to is often unforgivable for many people and may be so for your mate.EXPOSED: Should a single date a married?
A married man/woman asked you out and at first you play hard to get; after so much persistence you start a relationship because of what you might get out of the relationship. You think you can eat your cake and still have it. Imagine!
A typical example is a lady who went out with a married man on a first date. He treats you to a fine lunch and then you ask him to buy food for your sister; the sister he is yet to meet, how repulsive! He abruptly ends the relationship and you think he is wrong. Hmmm!
Who is wrong here?
PLEASE REACT.
Monday, 11 July 2016
10 Things To Stop Doing If You Think You May Cheat
5. Stop Pretending
Stop pretending you are not married. There are valid reasons for not wearing a wedding ring, but if you remove your ring to hide the fact that you areSunday, 10 July 2016
10 Things To Stop Doing If You Think You May Cheat
Saturday, 9 July 2016
Friday, 8 July 2016
10 Things To Stop Doing If You Think You May Cheat
2. Stop Meeting With Old Flames
Stop connecting and spending an inappropriate amount of time with an old flame in person and/or online. If you don't think you can avoid be tempted by someone from your past or someone you meet on Facebook or other social media, then delete your accounts. Your marriage is more important than these "old friends."Dr. Susan Heitler: "If you don't want to catch fire, stay far from the sparks. They are fun and often prove too dangerous to be worth the mini-delights of minor sexual pleasures. The two highest risk categories for dangerous connections are old flames and current business associates, especially ones that you spend a lot of time with."
Source: Dr. Susan Heitler.
10 Things To Stop Doing If You Think You May Cheat
1. Stop Ignoring Problems
Stop avoiding talking with your spouse about problems in your marriage. All marriages have some issues to deal with but dealing with them in healthy ways can help keep your marriage on a sound foundation.By Sheri Stritof
Sex and Intimacy
Let's talk about sex
This will probably be your most fun conversation and a celebration of what makes the sparks fly between you! Start this session by sharing two or three things (special words, techniques, positions or role-playing fantasies) you particularly enjoy about your lovemaking and how they make you feel. You may be surprised about some of things that excite your partner. This is a natural lead-in to talking about things you want to explore and making a commitment to continue communicating about your sexual desires or turn-offs.
Breaking the ice in talking about intimacy now will help you make a habit of communicating on this level and feeling comfortable speaking up if sex starts taking a backseat to career and family or becomes routine — two of the biggest complaints I hear from my divorcing clients.
by Lisa Meyer, SheKnows Expert
This will probably be your most fun conversation and a celebration of what makes the sparks fly between you! Start this session by sharing two or three things (special words, techniques, positions or role-playing fantasies) you particularly enjoy about your lovemaking and how they make you feel. You may be surprised about some of things that excite your partner. This is a natural lead-in to talking about things you want to explore and making a commitment to continue communicating about your sexual desires or turn-offs.
Breaking the ice in talking about intimacy now will help you make a habit of communicating on this level and feeling comfortable speaking up if sex starts taking a backseat to career and family or becomes routine — two of the biggest complaints I hear from my divorcing clients.
by Lisa Meyer, SheKnows Expert
Wednesday, 6 July 2016
Relationship Problems
What couples fight about behind closed doors—and how to address it.
Studies have shown that sex and money
are two of the leading causes for divorce, but statistics don’t always
tell the whole story. We reached out to a handful of top relationship
therapists to find out what the #1 problem they come across in couples.
And believe it or not, neither sex nor money came up once.
Of course, relationships are complex and complicated, and no two marriages are the same. But each expert immediately rattled off a super common—and often extremely reparable—issue they see arise again and again and again.
Whether you’re a year into matrimonial bliss or celebrating a decade of wedlock, you’ll benefit big-time from this romance wisdom. In fact, you don’t even have to be hitched to learn a thing or two about love.
Of course, relationships are complex and complicated, and no two marriages are the same. But each expert immediately rattled off a super common—and often extremely reparable—issue they see arise again and again and again.
Whether you’re a year into matrimonial bliss or celebrating a decade of wedlock, you’ll benefit big-time from this romance wisdom. In fact, you don’t even have to be hitched to learn a thing or two about love.
You're Bad at Communicating
“The number one problem—though I prefer the word challenge—in marriage is indeed effective communication,” said psychotherapist Laura Young.
“This includes how to argue with your spouse and not threaten to leave
the relationship during a fight, as well as how to recognize—perhaps
remember—that the annoying behaviors you feel are now intolerable have
probably always been there. Perhaps you even felt they were adorable at
one point.”
Although communicating better is the kind of thing you can learn, knowing how to do it in a more effective way is even easier if it’s done from the start of the relationship. “In the past few months, I’ve seen a significant increase in folks seeking ‘pre-marital’ therapy, which is so encouraging,” said Young. “At the beginning, both partners are more willing to discuss their differences and openly explore how they can increase their awareness as well as acceptance that they balance each other out. Married couples who have gotten hardwired in their dance of hurtfulness can, sadly, become so myopic that they would rather be right than happy.”
Although communicating better is the kind of thing you can learn, knowing how to do it in a more effective way is even easier if it’s done from the start of the relationship. “In the past few months, I’ve seen a significant increase in folks seeking ‘pre-marital’ therapy, which is so encouraging,” said Young. “At the beginning, both partners are more willing to discuss their differences and openly explore how they can increase their awareness as well as acceptance that they balance each other out. Married couples who have gotten hardwired in their dance of hurtfulness can, sadly, become so myopic that they would rather be right than happy.”
You're Not Having Enough Fun Together
When you’ve been with someone for so long, the
definition of date night inevitably loses its meaning. After all, the
two of you Seamless and Netflix and pound away on your
laptops side-by-side almost every night. Surely that counts? Spoiler:
Sorry, it doesn’t.
“Couples spend too much time on the ‘business’ of being a married couple and not enough time staying connected, having fun together,” said therapist Lauren Urban-Colacicco. “In order for a relationship to continue to be successful, it’s necessary to foster the romantic and emotional connection between partners. Dates are extremely important, as trite as it sounds.”
“Couples spend too much time on the ‘business’ of being a married couple and not enough time staying connected, having fun together,” said therapist Lauren Urban-Colacicco. “In order for a relationship to continue to be successful, it’s necessary to foster the romantic and emotional connection between partners. Dates are extremely important, as trite as it sounds.”
You're Too Busy
“Couples time-starve their relationships,” said psychotherapist and marriage counselor Jean Fitzpatrick.
“After the initial intense experience of being in love, they don’t
recognize that their marriage needs nurturing. They let it run on
autopilot and eventually start bickering a lot, or get bored with each
other, or intimacy disappears, or someone has an affair.”
It’s crucial to make time for your marriage just like you make time for, say, exercise. Think of it as an investment for your health—because honestly, it is. “There’s nothing intrinsically bad about work or children or socializing or devices, but couples need to put their relationship on their calendar. They need daily rituals of connection and regular, meaningful and fun couple times.”
It’s crucial to make time for your marriage just like you make time for, say, exercise. Think of it as an investment for your health—because honestly, it is. “There’s nothing intrinsically bad about work or children or socializing or devices, but couples need to put their relationship on their calendar. They need daily rituals of connection and regular, meaningful and fun couple times.”
You're Insensitive—Or Too Sensitive
Feelings get hurt. It happens! But if it’s not handled
well, the resentment and anger manifests, and suddenly, you realize
you’ve been silent-treating each other for three days.
“What comes up a lot is someone misunderstanding the other person’s motive,” said marriage and sex therapist Dr. Jane Greer. “One person will say something or do something that in no way is intended to be antagonistic or hostile, and yet, whatever said or done is interpreted as thoughtless or hurtful. When the other person reacts in anger, the person who said or did it is immediately confounded and bewildered, and launches into an explanation—which only digs them into a deeper hole.”
Whether or not you feel like you did anything wrong, Greer says it’s important to express empathy for your partner’s bruised feelings. “If your partner is upset by something, your default reply has to be, ‘I’m sorry that’s how you feel,'” says Greer. “If they feel like they didn’t do anything wrong, 99 out of 100 people feel no reason to apologize.” And as for the wounded, it’s important to pause for a breather before taking everything personally. Says Greer: “I teach people to say, ‘Look I’m really upset by what you said or did. Whether you meant it to be this way or not, here’s how I experienced it.'”
“Some people are in relationships to help fill a void, or fix what they’re lacking or what they feel insecure about,” said Dr. Daniel Selling, psychologist and director of Williamsburg Therapy Group. “A lot of it comes down to accepting who our partners are, rather than trying to bend them to who we want them to be. A lot of people enter into relationships because there’s attraction, there’s chemistry, there’s a lot that they like—but there’s also a lot of fantasy that they will become who they want them to be. Couples that really thrive accept the good and the bad of each other.”
If you feel like these therapists are looking straight inside your relationship (creepy, right?), start the conversation with your partner. Identifying and agreeing on the issues is the first step to building that bulletproof marriage.
“What comes up a lot is someone misunderstanding the other person’s motive,” said marriage and sex therapist Dr. Jane Greer. “One person will say something or do something that in no way is intended to be antagonistic or hostile, and yet, whatever said or done is interpreted as thoughtless or hurtful. When the other person reacts in anger, the person who said or did it is immediately confounded and bewildered, and launches into an explanation—which only digs them into a deeper hole.”
Whether or not you feel like you did anything wrong, Greer says it’s important to express empathy for your partner’s bruised feelings. “If your partner is upset by something, your default reply has to be, ‘I’m sorry that’s how you feel,'” says Greer. “If they feel like they didn’t do anything wrong, 99 out of 100 people feel no reason to apologize.” And as for the wounded, it’s important to pause for a breather before taking everything personally. Says Greer: “I teach people to say, ‘Look I’m really upset by what you said or did. Whether you meant it to be this way or not, here’s how I experienced it.'”
You're Codependent
Turns out there’s a lot of truth to the whole
loving-yourself-before-you-love-someone-else idea. Rushing into a
relationship before you have a good handle on who you are—or who you
want to be—never ends well.“Some people are in relationships to help fill a void, or fix what they’re lacking or what they feel insecure about,” said Dr. Daniel Selling, psychologist and director of Williamsburg Therapy Group. “A lot of it comes down to accepting who our partners are, rather than trying to bend them to who we want them to be. A lot of people enter into relationships because there’s attraction, there’s chemistry, there’s a lot that they like—but there’s also a lot of fantasy that they will become who they want them to be. Couples that really thrive accept the good and the bad of each other.”
If you feel like these therapists are looking straight inside your relationship (creepy, right?), start the conversation with your partner. Identifying and agreeing on the issues is the first step to building that bulletproof marriage.
Tuesday, 5 July 2016
Monday, 4 July 2016
Celebrate Mr & Mrs Mark-Mordi
Happy19th Wedding Anniversary from ADAMAS
19 and still Counting
19 years laid to rest...year 20 fully
loaded and ready to be lived together again useful to God and our
children, loving each other in our own peculiar way. There are a lot of things I thank God for being married to Mark Mordi and I will share only 3.
1. He married me, and is committed to staying married to me. As a
result in my days of immaturity he stood his ground and in the process
taught me the law of priority and how to fight for what matters.
2. He knew my value before I even realized that heaven had endowed me to be a Blessing to the earth. Therefore, he prayed, spoke and gave of his resources and still does to ensure I become me. In the process he taught me how to believe in me and arise in confidence. He insisted that my wings were for flying, pushed me to fly and is happy to let me fly. He is my biggest cheerleader.
3. Thirdly and most importantly, he believes in God and takes joy in worshiping the God of Heaven. In setting this example I see first hand every day what a life dedicated to God looks like and therefore makes it easy for me to prove my love for God by my commitment to His call. Mark believes that the Word of God works and I believe him.
Of course, neither of us is perfect, we are both very flawed but we are committed even in our imperfections and that's what makes us together great. I cannot promise to never be angry with him, I cannot even promise that I won't disappoint him once in a while and I doubt he can promise that. However, I can promise that if Jesus tarries we will be here together at 40 to say thank you and not pretend through it.
Marriage is how I learn to live powerful and purposeful and I dare say I have had the best study mate for me.
Happy anniversary MM, you are a REAL Man and I love and celebrate you.
https://www.facebook.com/mark.mordi?pnref=lhc
2. He knew my value before I even realized that heaven had endowed me to be a Blessing to the earth. Therefore, he prayed, spoke and gave of his resources and still does to ensure I become me. In the process he taught me how to believe in me and arise in confidence. He insisted that my wings were for flying, pushed me to fly and is happy to let me fly. He is my biggest cheerleader.
3. Thirdly and most importantly, he believes in God and takes joy in worshiping the God of Heaven. In setting this example I see first hand every day what a life dedicated to God looks like and therefore makes it easy for me to prove my love for God by my commitment to His call. Mark believes that the Word of God works and I believe him.
Of course, neither of us is perfect, we are both very flawed but we are committed even in our imperfections and that's what makes us together great. I cannot promise to never be angry with him, I cannot even promise that I won't disappoint him once in a while and I doubt he can promise that. However, I can promise that if Jesus tarries we will be here together at 40 to say thank you and not pretend through it.
Marriage is how I learn to live powerful and purposeful and I dare say I have had the best study mate for me.
Happy anniversary MM, you are a REAL Man and I love and celebrate you.
https://www.facebook.com/mark.mordi?pnref=lhc
Friday, 1 July 2016
Why am I CHEATING?
ARTICLE UPDATED BY MARNI FEUERMAN
A spouse's infidelity can destroy a marriage. Upwards of 40% of married couples are impacted by infidelity. Despite this large percentage who cheat, most will say that cheating is wrong. You may never truly know why your spouse was unfaithful. Your spouse may never truly understand it either.
Reasons for cheating can fall into three general categories:
It is critical to realize that if you were the one cheated on,
you are NOT responsible for your spouse making the decision to cheat.
You are not to blame for your spouse's behavior. You would, however,
want to explore how the dynamics between you and your spouse led you to
this point. Even if you are not to blame for your spouse's choice, you
will want to fix the underlying problems in your relationship.
Here are some commonly identified reasons why a spouse has an affair:
When women cheat, they are often seeking to fill an emotional void. Women frequently complain of disconnection from a spouse, wishing to be desired and cherished. An affair is more often a "transitional" person for the woman. She is seriously looking to leave to her marriage and this other person helps her do just that.
Regardless of the underlying reason a spouse cheats, it can either devastate a marriage or be the catalyst for rebuilding it depending upon how the infidelity is dealt with.
http://marriage.about.com/cs/infidelity/qt/whycheat.htm
A spouse's infidelity can destroy a marriage. Upwards of 40% of married couples are impacted by infidelity. Despite this large percentage who cheat, most will say that cheating is wrong. You may never truly know why your spouse was unfaithful. Your spouse may never truly understand it either.
Reasons for cheating can fall into three general categories:
- Individual reasons, such as a character or personality train
- Relationship reasons, such as relationship dissatisfaction
- Situational reasons, such as being in a situation that puts one at risk for cheating given a prime opportunity
Here are some commonly identified reasons why a spouse has an affair:
- Conflict Avoidance
- Unresolved problems
- Sexless marriage or sexual dissatisfaction
- Childhood baggage
- Feeling unappreciated
- Ego or arrogance
- Opportunity
- Excessive conflict
- Career problems
- Looking for excitement or passion
- Boredom
- Validate manhood or womanhood
- Get a self-esteem boost
- As a way to end an unhappy marriage -- an exit strategy
- Fear of growing older
- Feeling self-righteous
- Thrill of the chase
- Desire to sow wild oats
- Deep-seated unhappiness
- Feel neglected
- Jealous of new baby
- "Buyer's remorse" and second thoughts after wedding
- Feel trapped
- Insecurity
- Revenge
- Because he/she can
- A sense of entitlement
- Financial pressures
- Escapism from daily life
- Believe he/she can get away with it
- Thoughts of being "above the law" both morally and legally
- Lack of real consequences for similar actions
- Looking for a one-night stand
- Sex addiction
- Hormonal changes
- Long-term relationship outside marriage
- Selfish or self-centered
- Is a serial/chronic cheater
- Having an episode of mental illnesis (i.e., manic) or substance abuse
- Personality disorder such as narcissistic or borderline
- A "cry for help"
When women cheat, they are often seeking to fill an emotional void. Women frequently complain of disconnection from a spouse, wishing to be desired and cherished. An affair is more often a "transitional" person for the woman. She is seriously looking to leave to her marriage and this other person helps her do just that.
Regardless of the underlying reason a spouse cheats, it can either devastate a marriage or be the catalyst for rebuilding it depending upon how the infidelity is dealt with.
http://marriage.about.com/cs/infidelity/qt/whycheat.htm
Celebrating Mr & Mrs Michael Osu
LOVE STORY
Page 3
WE FOUND US
Curlymine
Ade loves to cuddle more than anything else; she
would fold into you if she could. We became a model to so many, while some
disapproved the relationship because we were in the same department and same
class. We were not going to break up for
that reason- ‘impossicant’. I became a better student and started to read well, eat better and I quit a lot
of my regular routine just to fit into the new found love.
We had our differences
though but love covered them all.
It was an exciting meeting when I introduced
her to my parents; they accepted her wholeheartedly, who won’t? She is a beauty
in the eye of every beholder. Everything was just working in our favor; the
most difficult lecturers became like fathers to us and protected us from other
lecturers who womanize. I remember a day in class when I needed to ask her for
something during one of the lectures, I thought I was careful enough not to
disturb the lecture, but I did. I thought I was in trouble, from experience a
lot of students had gotten into the black book of lectures for the same offense.
You want to know what happened next; Watch out for next page 4.
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