A spouse's infidelity can destroy a marriage. Upwards of 40% of married couples are impacted by infidelity. Despite this large percentage who cheat, most will say that cheating is wrong. You may never truly know why your spouse was unfaithful. Your spouse may never truly understand it either.
Reasons for cheating can fall into three general categories:
- Individual reasons, such as a character or personality train
- Relationship reasons, such as relationship dissatisfaction
- Situational reasons, such as being in a situation that puts one at risk for cheating given a prime opportunity
Here are some commonly identified reasons why a spouse has an affair:
- Conflict Avoidance
- Unresolved problems
- Sexless marriage or sexual dissatisfaction
- Childhood baggage
- Feeling unappreciated
- Ego or arrogance
- Opportunity
- Excessive conflict
- Career problems
- Looking for excitement or passion
- Boredom
- Validate manhood or womanhood
- Get a self-esteem boost
- As a way to end an unhappy marriage -- an exit strategy
- Fear of growing older
- Feeling self-righteous
- Thrill of the chase
- Desire to sow wild oats
- Deep-seated unhappiness
- Feel neglected
- Jealous of new baby
- "Buyer's remorse" and second thoughts after wedding
- Feel trapped
- Insecurity
- Revenge
- Because he/she can
- A sense of entitlement
- Financial pressures
- Escapism from daily life
- Believe he/she can get away with it
- Thoughts of being "above the law" both morally and legally
- Lack of real consequences for similar actions
- Looking for a one-night stand
- Sex addiction
- Hormonal changes
- Long-term relationship outside marriage
- Selfish or self-centered
- Is a serial/chronic cheater
- Having an episode of mental illnesis (i.e., manic) or substance abuse
- Personality disorder such as narcissistic or borderline
- A "cry for help"
When women cheat, they are often seeking to fill an emotional void. Women frequently complain of disconnection from a spouse, wishing to be desired and cherished. An affair is more often a "transitional" person for the woman. She is seriously looking to leave to her marriage and this other person helps her do just that.
Regardless of the underlying reason a spouse cheats, it can either devastate a marriage or be the catalyst for rebuilding it depending upon how the infidelity is dealt with.
http://marriage.about.com/cs/infidelity/qt/whycheat.htm
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